Inoculating the Night - A Call For Better Bedrooms
How Environments for Rest Matter
One of the hardest growth edges for people when it comes to rest is understanding how much environment makes an impact on our body’s ability to down-regulate, or enter into states of rest.
Whether or not we want to admit it, where our bedroom is, and what we put in our bedroom matters. It’s the first place we wake up in the morning that sets the tone for our entire day and the last place we perceive before we allow our bodies to turn completely off each night. When we shut off, our room either communicates “safety” or it communicates “you better be alert, so don’t turn all the way off...just in case!”
I thought that this week in The Rest I would talk a bit about why taking a bit of intentional time in your bedroom matters.
A Place To Rest Your Head
Your bedroom is much more than just a place to rest your head. When our bedroom is place for rest, relaxation, rejuvenation and there is not a lot of chaos associated with it—our bodies will naturally begin to associate this space with a feeling of safety and—often subsequently—rest.
If we’re constantly battling our own clutter on the floor, if the art we love never quite gets hung up, if there are piles of things we need ‘to-do’ always in sight—our bodies will naturally begin to feel erratic, stressed and hyper-vigilant in this space.
The subtle cues of our environment shape our day-to-day feelings about ourselves and our lives more than we realize. So when it comes to setting up a bedroom space it’s important to ask ourselves…
Is the place I rest my head at night:
safe?
kind?
calm?
gentle?
nourishing?
inspiring?
I can tell you from experience that most of my life, my bedroom was not often any of these things.
“…But Whatever, My Bedroom is Fine.”
Listen.
I am the first person to tell you that this phrase came out of my mind, my head, and my heart for years. In preparing for this article I went through my photo history to try to see if I could find pictures of the evolution of my bedroom and it’s hilarious to see where I’ve chosen to try to rest at night. I have so much more compassion for why I couldn’t. I have a lot of laughter around thinking about what a chaos-machine I was in each of these chapters of my life and how my bedroom associated with that chaos.
And let’s be honest here, there are chapters in our lives where practicality outweighs the intentionality of setting up a cozy bedroom. Maybe we’re young. Maybe we’re broke. Maybe we’re dating someone we’re co-habitating and they cannot seem to care about the space.
There are many (completely valid) reasons why spending time and attention on our bedroom is not the first place we invest in ourselves…but it should be!
What Is Important In A Bedroom?
If we’re going strict, evidence-based science we’re looking for things like:
An auditory haven — a space absent of distracting noises
A cave in the night, yet bright in the morning — to regulate our circadian rhythm
Dim lighting in the evening- For when we’re getting close to bed time
Little, to no, clutter — to keep the mind from feeling like it has to do anything while you’re in there
No pets or fidgety people — anything that might wake you up in the middle of the night has got to go
Precise temperature control — between 65–68°F (15.6–20°C)
Comfortable bedding for your preferences — so the body associates the actual bed itself, with muscle relaxation
While all of these things are well and good (and true), I would also argue that this isn’t the whole picture. Many of my bedrooms over the years had most of these scientific, evidence-based elements and yet they have not all felt restful. On top of the practical matters, our rooms should also inspire rest within us.
A Bedroom Cannot Be Truly Practical Without Being Beautiful, Too
Once you’ve got the major evidence-based chunks taken care of, it’s important to ask yourself the question “what would inspire my body to rest?”
Try not to censor yourself on this answer!
Do you want all your sheets to match a color coordinated effort? Do it.
Do you think hanging that giant, textured macramé piece would be fun to put above your headboard so you can play with it as you read before bed? Do it.
Will buying that light shade cover make you feel like you’re in your favorite cozy teahouse? Do it.
This isn’t necessarily about consumerism1, but instead more about giving ourselves the permission to build a bedroom we deserve to promote our rest and well-being at night, as well as inspire us to feel resourced and supported enough to seize the day each morning.
When I talk to young guides about buying the right gear for their backcountry jobs I always joke that the first three rules are this:
Look Good
Feel Good
Safety
Safety is always third.
If you buy the dorky helmet, you’re less likely to wear it under all circumstances.
If you buy the helmet that makes you feel and look like a badass however, you’re going to wear it every chance you get.
The same logic applies to the bedroom.
If your bedroom is a place you avoid because it’s an unfinished basement with resting temperatures of about 45°F, it’s unlikely you’re going to rest well while you’re in there. (Yes, this is unfortunately how I slept throughout grad school. What the hell was I thinking?)
Instead of asking yourself, what would make your bedroom look cool, ask yourself what can you change about your bedroom so it feels inspiring to rest.
Time For A Dreamy, Bedroom Makeover
So, if you’re looking for permission to re-evaluate your bedroom and inoculate it with little things that make you feel good, I can’t write you a Doctor’s note because I decided to Master out of my PhD program and Master’s note doesn’t seem to carry the same weight. But I can offer you some excitement and celebration once you’ve re-imagined your own space.
If you want to share it with someone after you’ve taken the time to fine-tune it into all its restful glory—remember that I’d love to see what you’ve done with the place.
I hope you all get some deep rest out there, and that it feels even better than it looks.
As per usual,
I’m so grateful you’re here.
Restfully,
Dagny Rose
This sub-section of The Art of Rest, is all about—you guessed it—The Rest.
As a trained sleep scientist and mindfulness teacher & researcher, here we explore the everything related to rest. Whether we are unpacking the newest evidence-based sleep health tips, exploring day-to-day tools for bolstering and protecting rest, or diving into a world of dreams, “The Rest” is going to regularly touch into what a restful life is, and how to move towards one5
Looking For A Personalized Way to Optimize Your Rest?
Exciting announcement! My books are now open again for the hibernation season! I am looking forward to giving winter guidance around sleep health & nervous system regulation around stress. I offer individualized 1:1 guidance for those who want to use rest as a way to expand their creativity to just need a tune up all the way towards those who are dealing with chronic rest related issues. Shoot me an email at dagnyrose@theartofrest.me to inquire about getting started.
In fact, many of these tweaks can be made without buying anything new, but instead being more intentional about rearranging or tweaking things we already have. AND if you want to buy something new, or it’s time to replace something old—GET THE ONE YOU WANT AND THAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE ROYALTY.